So many people deal with feelings of anxiety every day of their lives. To look at some people, you may never know the turmoil they're feeling under the surface. For others, anxious feelings may impact how often they can get out of bed.
Anxiety disorders are the most common psychiatric disorders, affecting one-third of the population at some point during their lifetime. Although highly treatable, only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment. Their prevalence is higher in women than in men and highest during mid-life, which is not surprising when you consider all the responsibilities and stressors faced anywhere in the 35-65 range. Work, family, social pressures, mortgages, planning for retirement and care for yourself in your golden years...it can all add up pretty fast.
The good news?
There is a natural decrease in prevalence rates with older age. Maybe that's because once we hit a certain age, we understand better how to deal with the stressors we face...maybe as we age we also better understand what is truly worth worrying about versus what's going to happen that worrying just doesn't change.
While some media sources report a possible increase in those living with anxiety disorders, Epidemiology of anxiety disorders in the 21st century (published on PubMed) finds that "no significant increase of prevalence rates could be demonstrated for mental disorders in general." However, more people are seeking treatment than had before, which could be why there's a general impression that these disorders are more frequent. Anxiety disorders also have a reported heritability of approximately 30% to 50%, which would not change the overall numbers substantially.
Yes. You read that right: your anxiety disorder may not be your own; it could be hereditary - passed on from generation to generation and you're the lucky one to have it now. Now hold on! Before you start worrying that your worry will be passed on to your kids, let's talk about some tools that we can start using - and teaching our children - that can help us tackle the feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. And you didn't learn to walk in one day, so putting these tips into daily practice is where the magic happens, though you may be surprised to find how quickly you feel a difference once you start using them regularly.
9 Tips for Releasing Your Anxiety
Admit that you're anxious. And that it is freaking okay to have those feelings!
Even if you think you may be overreacting, trying to immediately squash your feelings isn't going to do you any long-term good. Most of us are so busy going going going that we think we don't have time or, sadly, even the right to have feelings at all. So admitting you are feeling anxious is 100% the first step. Know that: no you really do NOT Have to "do it all" and have everything perfect (whatever that means to you) is also helpful. Aim for progress over perfection. Give yourself the grace to admit that something is feeling overwhelming to you - and remind yourself that you're human...with emotions...and that it's okay to feel them.
Stop. Breathe.
And we're talking good, long and deep breaths. In through your nose to the slow count of 7 until you feel like gooooood stretch in your lungs. And then out through your mouth to the slow count of 10 until you think there's no more air that would come out even if somebody knocked you from behind.
Deep breathing increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of calmness.
The "stop" portion of this can also help you catch yourself before you snap at a loved one or do something that you may later feel bad about (like cutting somebody off on the freeway), helping you stay away from stacking feelings of guilt on top of your anxiety.
Think it through. Track your feelings back to what the root issue is.
Sometimes we have so much going on that it may be hard to pinpoint where our anxiety is actually coming from. Keeping a journal to jot down thoughts throughout your day may be how you need to roll with this...maybe it's keeping notes on your phone. Write down the statements that apply to what you're feeling and whatever the outside sources are that are factoring into the worry. You may find the root of what's causing the worry is something you can tackle one step at a time (lists of tasks or goals may help with this) - or - you may realize that there's nothing to worry about at all, allowing you to release those anxious feelings. Is it something that you have little to zero control over? Well, then take control of how you're reacting to it.
Talk it through. And then stop.
Find somebody who loves you (or a professional) to talk to about your feelings and what's triggering these feelings of anxiety. You may even have a small circle of friends you can share your experiences with. Vent to them, try to problem-solve (with or without their input) and then stop talking about it. Re-hashing the problem will only keep you on a negative hamster wheel with a negative feed/film on a loop. So decide who it is that you can talk to and then stop repeating the same negative story to everybody else that might listen.
Actively change your internal (or external) dialogue.
Our brains are pretty powerful and we and can actually create the circumstances we desire through the power of our own thoughts. When we think (or speak), our subconscious responds to that thought and brings more of those thoughts and feelings...which can turn into beliefs...which can turn into circumstances.
Research has actually suggested that what we think even has the potential to alter our DNA. Doesn't it make sense that we can alter our circumstances as well? Obviously other people are a factor in our everyday lives, so we cannot account for complete control over every aspect and every inch of our lives, but we can do a lot more than we may have felt the power to do before!
How do we put this into practice?
Immediately upon thinking something negative, say (out loud or in your mind), “cancel-cancel,” or "delete-delete." This tells both your conscious and subconscious that the thought you just had is not valid and is hereby canceled or deleted. You are stopping it from being true or existing at all! Next, you replace that negative thought with a positive one. This technique interrupts and erases your negative thoughts, making your sub-conscious receptive to the positive alternatives you feed it next.
An example:
Negative Thought: "Ugh! I am always late and I just can't do this!"
Think: "Cancel-Cancel."
New Thought: "I am organized and calm. It is easy for me to arrive on time."
Visualize yourself calm.
When did so many people decide it was bad to daydream? And why does this keep
getting passed on? As kids, we did this sort of thing a lot but, somewhere along the way, we get told that it's not mature or responsible to do. WRONG. Your dreams matter!
So, literally put yourself in a quiet and comfortable spot and start daydreaming. If you're having trouble with a place to start, grab three to five photos of places you associate with real-life happy experiences, of where you want to travel, or of things you associate with feelings of calm and relaxation and look at those. Picture yourself in that state. What does it physically feel like to be calm and relaxed?
Don't have a quiet spot you can think of? Stop and sit in your car near a park or beach. Go to the top of a parking structure and sit and enjoy visualizing for even just 5 minutes, if that's all you can spare.
Listen to your favorite music...but find songs with uplifting lyrics (this goes back to how our brains work with negative or positive messages).
You know how our subconscious can take things we think and make them real? What do you think is happening when you're listening to lyrics that say something like "I'm just a nobody?" Even if the song is thematically about overcoming or focusing on something "greater" than yourself, just one negative statement - especially repeated in a chorus - can have a lasting impact on your head and heart. Oh my, turn that stuff off. Pay attention to what's playing in the background because your subconscious is picking it up!
Find every possible thing you can to be grateful for.
Say your gratitude aloud. That burst of sunshine through the clouds? "I am so grateful for that!" Seeing a person about to walk through the same door as you? "I am so grateful I can happily hold the door open for that person." (Okay...maybe don't say that one out loud.) That sweet parking spot you just lucked out on getting (even when it's in an empty parking lot) - be grateful and express that gratitude! Find the things, no matter how "small" they may seem in comparison to what feels (and maybe is) a large trouble. Those little things and living in a state of gratitude will absolutely add up to a great, giant good.
Change your focus by looking outside of yourself.
Find somebody to be of service to. What nice thing can you do today for somebody else? It doesn't have to be what you would consider huge, but any act of service at all can have a major positive impact on the person you're serving - and yourself. If you find yourself always being of service to others and you're feeling you have nothing left to give right now, maybe today is the day that you serve yourself and take some time for self-care and re-charging. (Ya gotta put that oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on those around you.) Ask for help! Sometimes it's the nice thing to do to allow others to be of service to us, too.
Products + Essential Oils for Emotional Support
5 Essential Oil Blends to Promote Stress Release
Smelling oils is the quickest way to tap into the emotional part of our brains and make positive changes. Cold-water diffusers, diffuser jewelry, cupping over your nose and breathing deeply, or wearing oils as a perfume/cologne are all simple ways to get those oils under your nose.
Stress Away, Seedlings Calm, Release, Hope, and Forgiveness (good for forgiving others and ourselves) are some excellent options to start with. Citrus Fresh, Believe, Celebration, Clarity, and Envision are essential oil blends that promote positive emotions, making them a great choice to apply to start your day off on the right foot -or- 20 minutes after your stress-release oil.
If you're not yet part of our Young Living family of customers or brand partners, you can use my referral link. Message me first, and I'll hook you up with how you can get a discount (without any crazy order requirements or fees) along with awesome resources and freebies.
CortiStop - Nutritional Supplement by Young Living
When we're stressed, our bodies can over-produce the stress hormone cortisol. Best known for aiding in our "fight or flight" instinct, when it's produced too frequently it can have negative health consequences such as feelings of fatigue, difficulty maintaining healthy weight, and difficulty maintaining optimal health of cardiovascular system. Support your body by taking this supplement, designed to help the body maintain its natural balance and harmony.* CortiStop is designed to be especially supportive of the glandular systems of women.*
Make a Calm + Collected Roller - recipe by Lindsey Elmore.
8 drops Ylang Ylang essential oil
5 drops Bergamot essential oil
5 drops Gathering essential oil blend
Fractionated coconut oil, or the carrier oil of your choice.
In a 10 mL roller bottle, combine essential oils and swirl gently. Top off with fractionated coconut oil. Roll on wrists, neck, and behind the ears to help you unwind or as needed.
Super B - Nutritional Supplement by Young Living
Research findings show that B vitamins, folate, thiamin, and niacin may play important roles in maintaining optimal mental health. B vitamins are essential parts of a healthy diet, so speak with your healthcare professional about making them a part of your mental health plan. I know they help me keep a more positive attitude when taken consistently.
Pro Tip
Print out and use the helpful breakdown here for more ideas on which essential oils to use for different emotions and where to apply them.
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We're here to pay it forward. A friend helped empower us and now we're here to share what we've learned so you can make the best choices for you and your family, too!
Start by claiming your free guide, like Simple, Natural Ways to Boost Your Mood and Simple Self-Care for Caregivers. You can also head over to learn more about why it's important for us all to become educated consumers.
*See YoungLiving.com for more details.
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